My Friend Ellen

My Friend Ellen

Life is weirdly soft, and it certainly wasn’t for our ancestors.  We can order food, friends, entertainment, and “motivation” without leaving the couch. Then we wonder why we feel restless, anxious, and kind of numb. That’s “comfort creep”, and it sneaks up on almost everyone, except for my friend Ellen…

I met Ellen in 2020, we became instant friends, like we’ve known each other before. She is 10 years younger than I, and a beast at all things physical and spiritual. We are so alike and kindred and so different! Where I love to be “home”, her home is simply pickup and dropoff for the next adventure. I can’t keep up with her Mountain Biking, Concerts, Camping, Hiking…..if the earth is spinning, she’s dancing on it.

Soon after we met, I joined the CrossFit gym that she owns, and I have been sore ever since! She challenges me to be stronger, somedays yes, somedays no.

Last year she told me about a Misogi she was planning for Oct. 2026, a what? She explained “It’s one bold challenge you do with a real 50% chance of failure. Not reckless, not stupid, not dangerous. Just hard enough that your nervous system goes, “Oh…this is real.”

So.Like.Her. I had to know more, maybe I want to try a Misogi!

The practice of misogi dates back to Ancient Japan, where it was used as a method of purification and spiritual development. Here’s the “rules” of a Misogi:

Rule #1: It must be hard enough that there is a roughly 50% chance you will fail. If you are 100% sure you can do it, it’s not a Misogi; it’s just a workout.

Rule #2: You cannot die. The danger must be perceived, not actual safety negligence.

The real win is the preparation. The Misogi gives your year an anchor and a reason to level up.

Ellen spent a year preparing for her Misogi. She planned to Mountain Bike the Red Rocks of Moab, UT…. the hard stuff-60 miles of peddling over 22,000 elevation gain, with short stops and little rest.

I watched her bike across Colorado peaks, New Mexico and Utah this past year, peddling with one goal in mind…. Finish the Misogi.

This was not only a physical challenge but the biggest spiritual one as well, and she felt it all year long…

Last week SHE DID IT. In 16 hours…through the dark night with headlamps. She wanted to give up a million times, she cried and hurt, she was alone on purpose. Toward the end of her ride, she was met with one challenge there was no way to prepare for...a creek crossing that was flooded. She called friends who brought a kayak and floated her bike and herself across the river!!

When she was done, she called me crying….so changed...her voice different…so emotional...so glad it’s over.

On her first day she wanted to quit when her legs cramped and said NO. Her angels and guides came in loud with the message, “You don’t have to do all these hard things.” Whoa.

Anyone who knows Ellen, knows she always does the HARDest things. The biggest physical challenges, the huge adventures, the Boards she sits on in the community, the gym she runs….

Now, with this message, she can slow down and maybe her next Misogi will be the Silent 48. Yep that’s a Misogi, silence, no tech, no speaking...just you and your angels for 48 hours.

What do you think, wanna try one? My Misogi would be 24 hours in the wilderness alone in a tent. I don’t know if I could do it, therein is the Misogi.

A real Misogi doesn’t magically fix your life. But it does something more useful: it proves you can do hard things on purpose. And that changes how you show up the rest of the year.

What might be your Misogi?