Rebel, Wild & Free

…..the horse whose heart held mine

As I drove up the drive at Tails of Transformation, I saw them—a group of horses happily grazing—and I wondered, which horse will be mine today?

Horses. This is new to me, and also newly familiar. I have had riding experiences before, the typical group trail-type experience. I never connected with the horse. It didn’t occur to me to stroke it, or look in its eyes. A horse was just a vehicle for me to explore unreachable places. It just didn’t connect at the time that this is a living, breathing soul too, with an enormous heart.

Then everything changed. In 2025, my filmmaker daughter released the film Rescued Hearts, a documentary on the healing power of horses. When she floated the idea, I was puzzled. Horses? Are you sure? You don’t even like animals that much—even my dogs! She was sure, and her film has changed everything for me, and now, audiences worldwide. Horses heal, and we heal horses. After watching the film six times—and getting something new every time—I wanted in. I wanted to experience what healing from horses feels like…

Today was the day, and I was nervous. Would the horse like me? Through the film, I connected with Karen Finch, a longtime resident of our small rural town. Karen is an angel. After meeting her for coffee the week before, hearing all her experience with—and passion for—horses and equine-assisted healing, I knew she was the perfect person to guide me and a horse.

Karen walked across the property, waving hello. I felt my nervousness increase. Karen is just some kind of special—soft in speech and spirit, gentle in all her ways. As she hugged me and I told her of my nerves, she exclaimed, “It’s just me! Nothing to be nervous about.” Little did she know it had nothing to do with her. Being around her is like getting a big warm hug—it was this 1,000 lb horse that had me nervous.

Karen gathered the horse we’d be working with. As she and Rebel approached, I was mesmerized by Rebel’s brown-and-white face, tan coloring, and big, love-filled brown eyes. I didn’t know how to greet Rebel, but intuitively I held out the back of my hand, and she nuzzled it and looked at me. Good start.

The three of us made our way to the “round pen.” All of this is new terminology for me.

Karen placed Rebel in the pen, and we sat in two chairs outside for orientation. She didn’t waste time asking what I needed to focus on today, or what I desired to get out of this session. First of all, I had questions—like how Rebel got her name. I was told she was a donated rescue and was already named, but Karen explained, “she is the opposite of her name.”

I opened up and shared with Karen that I was carrying A LOT. She asked a lot of questions. What came up was a feeling of carrying a big load right now—a backpack full of “stuff.” As I talked about it, my anxiety went through the roof, tears started flowing, and right then she said, “Let’s go in the pen.”

OMG, now? When I’m crying and feeling overwhelmed, you want me to walk in there!? (My brain telling me if I bring these emotions into that pen, this horse may rear up and try to run! Attack? Charge? Do horses even charge, or is that bulls?)

As we walked into the pen, Rebel came right over and stood by me. She didn’t run from my emotions—she stood and held them. I already had a friend in Rebel, and she wanted me to know. In that moment, all I felt was this huge support from those deep brown eyes and that enormous heart.

As Karen asked deeper questions—“What do you need to let go of?”—I spoke. Rebel, next to me, held that information. When I was done, she promptly walked away from me halfway around the pen and SHIT.

At that point, I started laughing instead of crying. That beautiful horse literally carried away my biggest fears and showed me it’s bullshit! Karen and I processed that through much laughter.

Throughout our hour-long session, time after time, Rebel walked close to us when the conversation needed her, held deep space for what was coming up, and when it was time to release, she would walk away… as if on cue. I could not believe what I was seeing.

At one point, I brought up my three daughters. To show us that Rebel heard and understood, she neighed three times. THREE times. One for each daughter. Are you kidding me?

In the film Rescued Hearts, several professional therapists stated that their clients receive more in ONE session with a horse than months or years of talk therapy. Today, I get it. In that round pen, time stood still. It felt like four hours had gone by.

Driving home, reality seemed different—the snowcapped mountains more alive. Was I free? What is this feeling? What I did know was that I had just unloaded a huge backpack of heavy stuff, and in that round pen, Rebel carried it away. I can’t explain it. She showed me I am strong, just like her. And when I let it go—I am lighter, and we both can be wild and free.

As I try to recount what happened today, I find myself without words. Overwhelmed with emotions that have no expression through mere language. That’s more than surface healing—it’s heart coherence, or heart balance, through a horse. My hand on her heart, exchanging love—hers was by far bigger than mine.

I didn’t expect a horse to hold my pain.I didn’t expect to cry, laugh, and walk away lighter in under an hour.But Rebel had other plans, to make my heart as big as a horse.

When the mission of RMWR was born, I had the plan of adding equine addiction coaching to our services. After my experience today, horses must be the missing piece of healing we all can benefit from. I am a believer, and horses can be a main guide to your Refuge within.